Depression

Goodbye

2009-07-18T21:55:00.003+08:00

I'm locking this bloggg~ :)

By removing my tagboard, links. and anything related to the outside world

And I have sinced moved to:

http://dys-functional.blogspot.com

lubly

2009-07-17T19:53:00.002+08:00

Regretedly, I didn't take any photos of today's crazy-dancing-singing-pillowwhiping-acting-and-slight-poping. When my mum isn't always there for me, my squadmates are the only thing that helps ease the pain

Vivien

2009-07-15T18:14:00.002+08:00

Remember me?

further emphasizing the point that I should just disappear.
I sound so, stupid.

I know that's what you think I am- maybe that's why I'm morphing into one.
At least you warned me this would be coming. If not I'd be even trashed than what I am now.

Rewind time

2009-07-15T17:36:00.002+08:00

If I could rewind time and retype my comments about you, it would be
'Treat others the way you want to be treated. So I guess that you wantto be treated like a shameless, disgusting pest , according you posts.'
Trust me to say those few words in front were what my brother told me.
Even a kid knows better than you -.-
Anyway, this shall be the very last mention of you in my blog. Posting about you isn't even worth anything.

I am in no particular favour about my seat, cause I have no one to talk too, end up I always have to disturb Jovi :(.
Last time Fena was next to me, at least still can talk to her hai. Now I'm so lost in Science, only Jovi and Weixuan to help. and they seem so far away (mainly cause Weixuan asked me to move back so he had enought space to stand up)

Anyway, today was okay. I guess.
I've been taking Cleon for advantage, I'm so sorry.

Where's Eunice? She still owes me money and her usual heartwarming and catching-up phone calls D:

I'm not hardworking enough. But I feel so lost in studies now, I don't know exactly how to catch up properly. I feel like those days when you're study table is so messy and disorganised that you don't know exactly how to pack everything up- you just want to grab and crumple all your papers and hurl them on the ground.

I've been severly neglected by my mum now, it's now all about my brother. Everytime I come home, she's online searching for some stuff for him. It's like someone erased me from her memory. Then, I don't really want to barge in cause I'm not that kind of person. Sometimes its better with 2 parents.

My internet is being a bitch, neglecting my entertainment needs. -.-
I should start appreciating school, that's the best salvation for me now, right behind disappearing totally.

POP is next week!!! ahh~~
Another reason why poofing into thin air, would be the best if it were possible for me to just fade away.

2009-07-14T22:10:00.001+08:00

I've decided to forget and erase all evidence that I ever knew you/your blog.
Including my computer's history.

Cyber spats are not my thing -.-

laugh: Ha ha ha

2009-07-14T15:15:00.005+08:00

today Vivien Yap was a sadist bitch :(

today was all slack! wahoo~~ I have tuesdays in school to stretch out (not in my seat unfortunately)
Justin's pretty shocked that I put Street Vendor as No.3 of occupation.

I was gonna put florist or baker, but then I saw the job requirements, and well.
Patience really isn't my thing haha.

Anyway, PC was at com lab, ACC was in class, Jovi tried (and succeeded ho!) in teaching me chemical names and stuff. Science was cool~ played 'Say the ____' game with Huixin and yihfang. sorry if I wasn't really paying attention to you yihfang :(, I was thinking about some stuff haha. Sorry... GAP was funn, I guess.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow, computing in the afternoon makes time drag longer than imaginable. D: and there's PE, I never liked PE, I always feel so inferior.

Anyway, I want to address something on my blog.
I've been witnessing a lot of bitching publicly (means, with full name in big thick fonts on a particular blog) with both of my CCA mates. And I mean, bitching is fun, good to exhaust your anger, but why let the person be known? It's mean, and cruel. That's why I'm really regrettful if I ever bitched on anyone here, at least I hoped that all's in the past now.

Personally, people who spit about others with names and no anonimity are the real losers.
Like me :(

So the full list? vivien yap is a sadist bitch loser.

YES!

2009-07-12T21:58:00.003+08:00

OH YEAH! SCHOOOOOOLL!!!!

I'm exhilarated!

YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

(except for RS, it had its due on driving me crazy)

Eeeyer.

2009-07-12T16:22:00.003+08:00

My archives are embarrassing. Don't read them, that's why I provide to archives link in my blog.

Cos last time I used 2 tok like this.
Sumtimes I tok like this, sumtimes I toked like dat.

I still remember I used to call Yihfang xlcd. haha Xiao li cang dao lol.
Homework -.-

Topsy

2009-07-11T22:04:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I dreamt that I used my laptop in the movie theatre while my mum watched a movie when suddenly the movie lost connection cause of my laptop's signal or something. Then it was like stuck, and everyone was shocked. Then this movie lady came in and saw me with my laptop still on, looking all shocked.

Then she scolded me a bunch, and then. Gave me a pink parking ticket

:)

2009-07-10T23:26:00.002+08:00

No Fang, those lyrics were by a professional hard core country band/
ahaha.

I feel happier, cause I'm all alone watching Spectaculare!
haha

... Until I pull off my earphones that is.

Rascal Flatts- What Hurts The Most

2009-07-10T19:23:00.003+08:00

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do

I'm such a brat, I should be appreciating this day instead of bawling my eyes out.
I regret the times when I hated you; now I just want you back

Everything, then nothing

2009-07-10T18:36:00.003+08:00

I swear the nursings who came today ventured to a place where no squad ever ventured today.
Wanna bet?

Anyway, today was insane.
I woke up at 10 20.
Brushed teeth showered till 1040.

Then went downstairs to grab breakfast and read a book under the sun while my brother and mum spent some quality time together cycling in the carpark area. Waited for an hour and a half for the squadmates to come.

Turns out they went to leisure park for RT. -.-
Then they came, talked a little. Ate lunch.
Then went up for Mahjong.

While me and Wanxin were downstairs talking to ryan and john via facebook.
It was funny~ in a crude, insensitive way. You know the feeling you get when ryan starts asking questions like

'OI! DOES _____ like _____?'

But. :)
at least we know something's true know haha.

Anyway, we went up.
Played around. Facebook, mahjong, psp, sick jokes, etctect. Then celine, Jaime and rongying came!
Then um, Wanxin had to go soon
Then we played facebook, and stuff.

Then wanxin left and we um. Watched Monster (shit ass show) and then Brookeback mountain.
Wtf, don't ask. But if any of the ambulances came right. Oh god. We saw stuff too vulgar to even mention.

Then Celine said something about wasting time and she, Jaime rongying went home.
And me and ruiqi engaged into a violent pillowfight (with rongying) then burst into insane laughter. And soon, Huixian and jiayi started laughing. Then, I ended up on the ground. Somehow.

Then we went to katong park to get high and exercise and play with the swings. etc etc.
Gosh. and when yihfang and claudia reluctantly went home (I say reluctantly cause claudia looked like she was going to hit someone when she left)

Then we finally discussed (about 18 minutes) of POP.

Then we sat down, cause Huixian was feeling vomitious.
And we talked like a bunch of little girls haha.
I hope she's (huixian) feeling better! haha, I get that too when I sit on my swing and digress while swinging for 20 minutes.

then finally, we went home :(

Immoblised

2009-07-09T17:00:00.002+08:00

I can't find the home based learning thing on moodle.
It's Thursday! How come don't have?

I missed out on a whole weeks of study!
And I wasted 2 days because of RS.
And I can't go back to school tomorrow.
and my mum's angry at me because of...?

I'm lost, I don't know what I should do.
I feel like throwing my laptop across the room and watch it shatter into a million pieces.

What am I supposed to do. Cry?
Kill myself maybe.

I'm letting everyone down. Every single person who ever put their trust in me.
I shall post up pictures, cause I know all of you are sick and tired (cliche isn't it?) of my sad sad pathetic posts.

still, fock you

2009-07-08T14:15:00.002+08:00

I don't know what fock means, but it's a good substitution for the other word.

I'm seeing huixian later! yahoo~
My brother's happy too! haha

The last 2 days have been the worst days of my life.
Thanks to you.

I'm not sure what to post about.
Umm, thanks for all the Get Well Soons! And the 'Sleep earlier lah asshole!' haha
I have gotten Rascal Flatts into my head the past days. Their songs are pretty soulful :)

Kay bye, headache -.-
Vivien

Mistreatment

2009-07-07T05:21:00.002+08:00

I'm actually crying right now.
5:22 in the morning when you're still sleeping, I'm sitting here on another 3 minute break, infront of the computer.

5:22 in the morning when you're still snoring soundly, while I'm sick and I have to finish up thriple the work load of what you had to do.

and I'm sure I won't finish the whole thing when you wake up.
Ask yourself, is it fair?
fuck you.

Oh look, 5 minute break over.

500

2009-07-07T01:38:00.002+08:00

My mum's been coming along two times to check on me.
I think she's checking to see if I'm still sane and not slicing my wrists.

I'm losing my mind, I'm having a mental break down.
I still have 25 more years to calculate.
and 1050 workings to do.

by tomorrow.
At least I know my mum's still up

mourn

2009-07-05T22:25:00.005+08:00

Today I heard my beloved rain going pitter patter all over the place,

and for once in my life, thing's didn't feel better because the rain couldn't wash any pain away.

I forgot to apologise to John and the rest of my squadmates for their wasted time (and effort)
I'm sorry and thank you for spending all that time and attention for me and all those super long calls and everything. It's okay if you all hate me now, I agree with you guys.

Vivien

Dam

2009-07-04T17:39:00.006+08:00

Pictures to prevent twisted words from gushing out.

lousyloserlousynotworthitpissedoffluckyenoughdumbsuckerworthlessfatassdumbasslousyloserfaker

2009-07-03T23:00:00.003+08:00

loserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloser
loserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloser
loserloserloserloserloserloserlostloserloserloserloserloserloser
loserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloser
loserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloserloser

I detest being me, I'm fat and dumb, and I have serious hating issues.
It's these times when you feel like your world is just but a mere few scraps of black and white writings stapled together- and are slowly falling apart.

waste of time

2009-07-03T22:36:00.002+08:00

Life is bitching.
With so much effort, comes close to nothing as results.
With so much pain, there comes disappointment.

Oh yeah, school has been great.
just fucking great.

"We will continue to cancel mass gatherings, including CCAs, flag-raising
at parade square and assembly talks."

"Discourage congregation: Students are encouraged to return homeafter
lessons and refrain from congregating in school after school hours."

What's the point of going to school then.
We might as well, contract the disease then die. What difference would it make?
How is isolation of our seats in class, no CCA, no youth day making things as normal as possible.

Oh yeah, I just love school.
especially when RS report is due, and no one bothered to do any work after I left.

You know the torpedo thing I said the last time?
I'm dead already.

Ruins

2009-07-01T20:10:00.002+08:00

Life's like a never-ending torpedo.
When you think your out, you get sucked back in again.
You never stop going in circles, and just when you think everything is brighter,
it's not. Cause you're still stuck in the torpedo.
You keep going round and round, and when you finally get to the middle.
You're a goner.

All you've got is sentiments to keep before you die.

Obviously, I had a very bad day today.
The class tee is super cute. But I still had an awful day.
I should have gotten the fever today.
Everything was sliding downwards from Chinese all the way to negative 1 during the rehersal.

Vivien

Lab troubles

2009-06-30T09:33:00.005+08:00

The internet connection is really, really really really really slow.
Today's first science lesson was cool, although quieter than the other science lessons I had with Fena talking to me.

Urgh, Facebook has been loading for 10 minutes already -.-
COME ON!

Nevermind, now I'm resorting to photoshop and removing people's pimples and stuff to entertain rachel and waste my time. she says I'm 'Entertaining myself, huhuh'

kay, bye.
Vivien

[edit]
I have a potential fever going on.
Maybe it's food poisoning, maybe it's just the heat. It could also be H1N1
but it's also because of my rotten luck tomorrow.

And if I can't make it for rehersals tomorrow, then. Well.

Nevermind, I'm tired. I'll go tear myself to sleep now.
Maybe it could help me get rid of my coped up heat.
[/edit]

over-reaction?

2009-06-29T20:47:00.002+08:00

I have withdrawal symptoms of Youth Day now
EOYS and streaming are coming.

Oh, god. I'm going to screw up Youth Day just like i did with PC day, I just know it.

We changed seats and I'm surrounded by guys and Jovi is the only salvation I have for SJ haha.

I wish tomorrow never came.

Vivien

aww shucks

2009-06-28T20:51:00.000+08:00

Memories last

2009-06-27T21:26:00.003+08:00

I read from a book that they say most people don't remember anything until they turn 3. Well, it's true for me, but I do remember these guys.

When I was 5 or 6, me and my childhood friends (even when still in womb okay) were playing downstairs of their condo. I still remember, the adults were having their adult time, while my dad and their dad were in the big pool lounging around.

We played around, we would wander near the pool edges sometimes, feigning a fall into the pool. Then, when none of them were looking, I slipped behind them and gave them a little push, and they fell in. I was still dry, standing on the pool edge laughing at them- While all the adults turned to us and started laughing too. Then the youngest amongst us three, climbed out and threatened to push me in. He did. And we played around in the adult pool until late at night, still fully clothed

It was still us three then, around 2000 or 2001

Now it's 2009.

We're 13, 14 and 15 respectively.
We've grown up, they had a new brother, so have I.
We're still close friends, but we're just not kids anymore. But we still like to relive the moments
Like in the early year, where we went to visit this girl's (who is from DHS year 2, but I don't want to mention names here) condo. I could tell, we still didn't fit in with her like we did the last time (4 years ago?) we came. But we sat around and talked, and well. It didn't really go well cause the girl and her sisters weren't impressed with our social ettiqute I think.

Then we went to the ground floor to get dinner. We mucked around the pool playing ball. It was a ball we found next to the trash can, it was a ball you could fill with air. And we played monkey until the ball flew into the pool, and this awesome cool guy helped us fish it back 4 times! Until one of us (the girl) went to try to fish the the ball herself, leaning over the wall when she lost her balance and fell in. It was like 9 years ago and instead of helping her, we laughed like we used too. She was super wet, and she went to dry off.

Then the ball fell to the other side and her brother went to get it, he squaddled in get the ball, when he slipped and fell into the pool. I fell into maniacal laughter (you know, the one where I sometimes burst out in without warning). Then, being a guy and all, he didnt care and continued playing. Until the ball flew over and I volunteered to get it.

When I slipped and fell into the water, I could tell that the girl (who didn't really like the way we were behaving, yes, I could tell) was staring at me like 'You know you're from DHS right' but you know we didnt really care. Until the security guard came and we didnt want him to see us wet people getting more wet.

So 3 of us, thoroughly soaked had a mad laugh while running barefooted through the sharp doggy-walk track with poo on the floor. and we ran and hid and ran and hid again.

So there's us, 9 years later.

And I miss them, because things seemed so much happier last time. When we used to go to Satay Street and have late dinner together as 2 families. When we used to be young and sick (haha) and bathe together, but you know like with the deal of high school musical, young kids don't really care. Like when I had the 2nd best birthday with them. And Chinese new years where the 5-minute-crush-idiot made me angry and they were there to let me vent my anger on.

Where as now, we just sit around and goof off (like breaking my guitar string-.-) and watch as the 5-minute-crush-idiot stare at us (yes, I know you're jealous of us, hahah)

And I'm losing my childhood slowly. Because of school, of commitments. I haven't had a proper dinner as 2 whole families with them since 8 years ago. And now cause of H1N1, and others, seeing them feels like an annual thing.

I remember when we used to go overseas together, when my dad was still with us. But now, nothing. I miss having people my own age talking to me on the long bus rides, now I have my earphones and music. I miss being the kid in my family, I don't want to turn into an adult so soon. Things are forcing me to do so.

My past was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. Sure, now I have friends. But now, I don't go overseas with them, or play cheat in the middle of a restaurant. Or gamble in our hotel rooms, I don't have that now. Now I'm my mom's right hand man, I'm chairperson of photography, I'm part of Standardtwos09, I have Dunman High.

And if this one way ticket to adulthood gets any faster, my life's going to end up being an epic failure.

haha, I just felt like posting that.
No, no one died.
Just a small tiny, huge part of me.

Today's treasure hunt... made me feel like. that.

RIP Micheal Jackson

2009-06-26T19:22:00.002+08:00

I realised we're so vulnerable.
One stop of our heart, we could be dead.

Touch wood, but it is true.
The dude with the great voice and awesome dance moves, (not to mention shocking plastic surgery, but flaws are meant to be forgotten)

Here's to the king of music

anyway, school now, is the last place I want to be.
Cause I hate school.
And I have 2 ulcers in my mouth.
And H1N1 has quarantined us into our classrooms, means we can only mingle with classmates! howabout the rest of our squad? bullshit.

How is this called 'things being normal'.
MOH or whoever is the cause of my misery. Please think before you abolish a week or so of our extended holidays.

Vivien

ragh.

2009-06-24T23:02:00.002+08:00

I can't get over how cute my blue pet is.

I wanna go cycling with my dad this Sunday, I guess cause of H1N1 my mum won't allow it. H1N1 is a deepshitsucker, cancelling AYG replacing with lessons. -.-

deepshitsuckers shouldn't mutate, they should perish and die.

Vivien

Happy Birthday Sim

2009-06-23T22:01:00.006+08:00

I'm like, so friendless on facebook.

and no, I'm not jealous because Miss Sim has more birthday wishes than me (some of my squadmates never wish me okay! HAIYO, jkjk I had a party that was more than I could ever get teehee)

Jeez, I got to get starting on my homework. I'm such a slacker, MOH should give us an extra week. Or like 20 days, like SARS. Ring a bell?

Anyway, here's a rhectorial question

Don't you hate people who say they'll do something,
then in the end they tell you at the last minute that
they didn't bother to try to do it because they didn't
know how?

Well, I do.

Why don't you just copy and paste what you found on some crappy website onto our report dammit. It's better than you leaving everything blank. Shit you, now I have to figure out how to calculate it cause of you. Writhing little scum.

pictures

2009-06-20T16:41:00.010+08:00

Thank You All For All The Presents <3>

Vivien

Yesterday

2009-06-20T14:48:00.002+08:00

Was really cool haha.

First we had EFA (which I will FAIL the theory paper, I haven't been so sure about failing until now) The CPR was okay, only I re-wired my brain wrongly and stopped at 25 for the compression for choking. Bandaging was fine, i did on Miss Huixian. Choking was -.-, cause I had to do it on huixian and she was ticklish so every time I tried to locate her belly button she would lean forward and laugh non stop, until Yihfang had to replace her haha.

Yup, then I received quite a lot of smses and wishes for my birthday.
After that um, we sort of went home. Sort of. I'm not sure how to post this post.

I took the MRT home with Yihfang, we had small talk. She;s a really good actor. haha. We talked about Yellow Buildings and how I was gonna spend my (already nicely planned out) birthday.

So I went to airport for lunch with my cousin, brother and mum. On the way home she kept laughing to herself, lol. And we stopped for ice cream, so I thought we were going to eat ice cream then catch a movie. So, we were going home when my mum started laughing to herself. Then before we reached the airport for lunch, my mum received a phone call, it was really loud and she was like 'What Ice cream flavour?' and the person on the other line shouted 'OI DANNY! WHAT FLAVOUR', which inturn I think was jiayi who said 'OI NANNY WHAT FLAVOUR'

yup, so when I went home I was shocked to hear this high pitched scream and someone running from the back, ast first I thought it was my Auntie who saw a mouse, then it turnedout to be Huixian with jianchong behind :O

Then I went in and everyone from squad turned up in the kitchen and sang me happy birthday

Then I repeated the line 'OMG, I can't believe you broke into my house!' like 5 times, before settling in on the truth that this was planned by my mum who called Ruiqi about 3 weeks ago. I was super touched and I went up to hug my mum after being doused with Sparkling Juice (Which unfortunately failed to fizz and pop out at me, instead was drizzled on me by Jianchong)

Then we had a bit of a short lunch before they smashed cake in my face, and it got everywhere, includingthe floor, people's bags, my Stitch (which ruiqi cleaned up nicely ahah), the table and last but not least Claudia. I'm super sorry I threw it back at you haha. But jianchong successfully got cake in my face.

A few things I learnt before the mashing, is that Eric has his future planned out nicely in front of him, and he even did a little research on it! haha

And my squad is comfortable talking about the p-word while eating ahah.

After that I took a long shower, cause I was feeling oily. I was oily, not feeling cause of the cake
Sorry ifyou all waited really long.
Then umm when I came down most of them had stopped eating (40 fishballs, still have eh in fridge) Then we crapped for a while, I think Kennard came. And we went up!

We watched (me and jiayi and Jaime) watched the dunno how to spell movie while the rest played mahjong. Then we played Blackjack! Where I was from -1 all the way to 5 all the way to 0 coins :( But I got the same combi. of cards 3 times in a row

Then we laughed for 10 minutes non-stop cause of something I said? I think?

I think it went something like this

-Coin clatters when I lifted my butt-
Rongying: Eh?
Giwen: Who's coin is that?
Vivien: Orh, that one. 我尿出来的. HAHAHAHA
Ruiqi: HAHAHA
Jiayi: HAHAHA
Rongying: AHHAHA
Jaime: -smiles-
Vivien: HAHAHA
Ruiqi: HAHA
Jiayi: HAHA
Ruiqi: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Jiayi: HAHAHAHHAHA
Ruiqi: Vivien starts laughing I cannot stop eh
Vivien: I stop already
-silence-

Vivien: AHAHHAHHAAAHAHAHHAAH
Ruiqi and Jiayi: HAHAHAHHA
Kennard: Siao ah you all.

Then we ate the super yummy cake they made separately. It was really nice with icecream and stuff. Then we all packed up, went down talked. And finally settled on taking a picture and my mum sent the girls back home while Eric, Jianchong, Kenanrd and Rongying went home by foot haha.

Overall it was a wonderful birthday.
Thank you Ruiqi, Huixian, Wanxin, Jiayi, Celine, Rongying, Jianchong, Jaime, GiWen, Yihfang, Claudia, Eric, Kennard, SooYin, Jia Hwan for being there.

And thanks for the presents and wishes from the others.
And especially thank you for mymum who although planned and paid for the whole thing spent the whole afternoon sleeping to let us have fun to the max.

Next shall be pictures
Vivien

Fourteen

2009-06-19T23:04:00.004+08:00

On another note, friends and family make your birthday the most special and unique thing in the world.

therefore, I have a present for you all.

http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9855828/i-hate-you-no-not-really-chapter-10

Finally. :)

I would like to give my sincere gratituity to those who wished me a happy birthday on facebook, sms, and in person. Thank you Beverly, Sgt Heng Guang, Serene, Nicole, Fena, Ryan(sms also okay, haha) and those who wished me via cyber space.

And Debbie, Wendy, Patricia, Yaz, and dear Eunice who wished me too via sms
And those crazy people who did those crazy things, which I tell post about tomorrow.
Today was great, it was seriously.

I love my mum, a million hugs and kisses couldn't repay all the planning she and my squadmates went through to make today probably the most memorable day of my (14 years) life.

Again, my thank yous go out to those who actually remembered my birthday, and all the lovely gifts and sweet wishes.

Love, Vivien (teehee)

Heartfelt

2009-06-18T20:07:00.004+08:00

It's 3 hours and 51 minutes I have left as a 13 year old.
Somehow, as I turn older being a year older seemingly gets less impactful.

Maybe that's why as we get older, we have more friends, because that's what makes that specific day so special.

Tomorrow, the adults and cousins will say to themselves 'Hey the oldest kid I know in my family is finally getting older!'

The thing about being in a family where you're the oldest kid with cousins none being even 2 years close to your age, it gets pretty lonely sometimes.

Maybe that's why my dad's family feels more homey, and friendly. Because the age difference between my cousin is a few months, and there's always that slight difference in pressure being the role model (bullcrap) and the first to set a good standard (pure shit) always makes a big difference.

But it's always lonely.

I will have loads of pictures soon, hai.
Vivien

[edit]
A Quiz shall do me good!

Put your ipod or whatever to shuffle, yaddayadda...

Opening Credit: Everybody Dance Now- Bob Sinclare (yeah sure. Step Up 3)

First memories: Lying is the Most Fun a Girl Can Get With Her Clothes Off- Panic At the Disco (wahaha, sick song)

First Day of School: Too Cool- Meaghan Martin (what?! Mine was more like ... I don't know, not this)

First Crush: Gonna Get Caught- Demi Lovato (okay, not bad haha)

First Date: 美人魚- JJ (wowie)

First Kiss: It's On- NLT (what, hook up ah)

The Con: Australia- Jonas Brothers (?)

Falling in Love: Believe in Me- Demi Lovato (AWW, sweet)

First Love Scene: Unwritten- Natasha Bedingfield (kay.)

The Breakup: Let's Do This- Hannah Montana (wlan, I'm not in for it)

Fight Scene: Love Story- Forever the Sickest Kids Cover (this is all wrong)

Getting back together: Broken Strings- Nelly Furtado & James Morrison (SEE ALL WRONG)

Secret Love: Leave out All the Rest- Linkin Park (this just doesn't make sense)

Missing a loved one: Real Wild Child- Everlife (wrong wrong wrong, FAIL)

Getting your heart toyed with: The Climb- Miley Cyrus (yeah, you wanna get to me, climb.)

Waking Up: One Man Show- Jonas Brothers (hm, it would be a cool song to wake up to)

Bad Day: Decode- Paramore (hm. Things are looking up)

Sleep/Going to bed: I Hate This Part- Pussycat Dolls (okay, SURE)

Bitter: Burnin'Up- Jonas Brothers (bitter=hot?)

Traveling music: Get Back- Demi Lovato (Get back home fool, H1N1 lah)

Partying it up: Don't Let Me Stop You- Kelly Clarkson (Yeah, sure, don't let me stop you from getting the booze)

Regretting: A Little Too Not Over You- David Archuleta (AHAHHA yay!)

Depression: Best Day- Taylor Swift (...)

Death of a loved one: Whyyawannabringmedown- Kelly Clarkson (WLAO, s'not like I killed the person right)

Breakdown: Untouched- The Veronicas (Me VIRGIN!)

Learning from your mistakes: I Do Not Hook Up- Kelly Clarkson (this is WRONG, not my life. I never hook up (before))

Uplifting: U+Ur hand- Pink (yes, Pink uplifts me. PINK IS MY IDOL!)

A long night alone: Breakout- Miley Cyrus (what zits ah)

Giving up: Blush- Aly and AJ (cause I have zits right)

Death: Tell me why- Taylor Swift (why? the autopsy will be there)

Closing Credits: Until You're Mine- Demi Lovato (-.- Haven't give birth to child yet die liao, lame lah)

[/edit]

Dentis

2009-06-16T17:23:00.002+08:00

ooo~

Ellen! Ellen!
If Ellen were a guy I would date her ahaha.
Actually about the American Idol thing, I think Kris Allen had a fair win cause he's a really good singer, teehee, he's gonna sing heartless later. Of course Adam Lambert is a good singer too, okay he's a great singer but this season's American Idol was really good :)

Anyway, today I went to the Dentist in leisure park. It was awesome.
Somehow it was super kid-friendly. Everytime I walk past it, it's always showing High School Musical. And it's always that part where the basketball game is going. and today I watched that part like 3 times, repeatedly. And when I was getting my teeth cleaned, the dentist let me watch Kung Fu Panda.

I loved it ahaa.

I spent 40 dollars on Yihfang's and my dad's gift today.
Oh god.
Right, Kris Allen is coming on!

Wow, it was cool.
I'm gonna start improving on my guitar and then in 10 years time I'm gonna join Singapore Idol okay? hahah

NO, I shall just get a ticket after the next American Idol on Ellen Show. And then I'll get a free ipod. Just like all the (dammit) people sitting in Ellen now.

okay, that's my goal.
Vivien.

Oofm.

2009-06-15T15:47:00.003+08:00

Miss Ang has a facebook, finally.
haha.

Anyway, yesterday Ducky and I had a heart to heart talk, um. I kinda forgot what we talked about.

I'm going out with my daddy this sunday!
We're going cycling!

Anyway, today was horrible.
I woke up with cramed uterus walls.
Then I tried to sleep the pain away, to no avail. Then I felt sick, so I travelled from bed to toilet bowl about 7 times, trying to puke. Until I realised the pain lasted even when I was in bed, it got so bad that I went to the study room toilet and laid on the floor, and slept. -.-

Then my mum came back with food, after much calling and consolling, she made me eat a small plate.
Then I spent 10 minutes in the toilet trying to induce vomit. At the 12th minute, my lunch and my breakfast came hurling in out in a manner which young kids like to call 'The Merlion' I felt better.

Then my mum gave me that electric heater mat thing to place on my tummy, and I fell into blissful sleep, until of course my diaphram had a spasm attack and I had hickcups.

And now, I'm using the computer after a peaceful 1 hr of reading and eating.
Why can't girls have like triangular shaped poo or like blue armpit hair as period? Instead of stupid crams -.-

Dammit. It saves paper and those damned pads too.

Vivien

Boo

2009-06-14T16:27:00.004+08:00

I forgot to wish Serene a happy birthday.
Oh man, what kind of lousy friend am I?

I should start jotting down birthdays.
In case I forget anymore.

worst off I saw Serene in popular today and it totally slipped my mind.
GAH
And while I'm at it, I should wish cheryl ho (cheryl crazy ho, who although grew is still smaller than me aha) a happy birthday too.

I'm the worsest friend in the world.
As a punishment, you all should forget my birthday.

FAIL man, FAIL.
I am a terrible person and shouldn't deserve any friends
Damn you vivien yap.

I didn't wish Nana a happy birthday too >< (Okay I did, by sms but she didn't receive it. bah)

It is understandable that you will never want to be my friend again :(
Vivien

On sight of seeing each other, both Serene and Vivien promptly freak
out.

Vivien: OMG
Serene: OMG
Vivien: What the hell!
Serene: This is shocking.
Vivien: Yeah.
Serene: How long have you been here?
Vivien: uh.. I just came.
Serene: Ohh
Vivien: You?
Serene: Quite long already.
Vivien: And all you got was this file?
Serene: haha, I was searching for a nice file!
Vivien: Okay...

Both Serene and Vivien fall into a brief silence before their final statement.
Both: Uh.. okay.

Serene and Vivien both go their own direction.

HAHA

2009-06-12T19:58:00.004+08:00

At Plaza Singapura Carpark

Me: OW!
Mum: Aiyo, you hit the wall! Must be really painful, there got sign tell you already don't hit liao. Pain or not
Me: I didn't hit the wall!
Mum: Then?
Me: I HIT THE SIGN SAYING 'BEWARE OF THE WALL'
Mum: -rolls eyes and walks away-

Haha, my momme.
Anyway, I didn't go for counselling cause my mum talked to the counsellor and told him I wasn't the one who needed counselling and stuff. And she's not angry at me for saying No to his counselling sessions! In fact she's proud of me for being able to say no.

I love my mom. Maybe I should make her cake or something for christmas. Or I should start doing homework actually.

Okay seriously, I should start on my homework.

Anyway, today we went cycling. It was cool, except for the fact that my brother just learnt how to cycle two-wheels and he would lose balance in the middle of the road and start screaming and cause a bicyle-roller-blading cram.

And at the end of the day, we saw this little boy who had no strength to cycle up a slope, so I asked my brother to help him cause I was holding my bicyle. And he totally just pulled the front handle of the boy's bicyle up the slope without a word. haha, the boy was like o.o

But it was cute.
I shall delete my counselling posts, cause I sound like a over-reacted fool.
Thanks for the tags :)
I shall try to be a happy girl haha.

I love my squadmates. Did I tell you that before?
I love my momme and my brother too :)

Vivien

Language Arts
1. 500 word essay
2. ~~nat geo~~
3. ~~compre~~ Summary -.-
4. read merchant of venice book.
5. read 5 merchant of venice websites

Higher Chinese
6. xiao yuan bi ji
7. yue du ji lu ka
8. jian bao 1
9. jian bao 2

Mathematics
10. supplementary worksheet. (not compulsory)
11. ~~assignment 11~~
12. maths RS
13. maths ws holiday hw

Science
14. ~~science practice paper~~

Geography
16. nothing except arranging my file maybe.

Credits: Yihfang

Humbum

2009-06-10T18:07:00.002+08:00

I'm in no mood to post about today

But it was great cause I went out with Eunice.

We went to Iluma and messed around haha.

Now I feel -.-

Bye.

Vivien

grr

2009-06-08T12:35:00.002+08:00

I can't stand it anymore.

I'm sick and tired of you inflicting pressure on me.
I think you suck, cause you only think of what you need to do. Which requires me.
I think you're a bloody shit hole because you don't care if others have plans to actually have a nice day.

I hate you. I will forever forever hate you.
You stinkin' piece of shit.

I hate you homework, go burn in hell.
Only you can't cause you're graded.

I bloody whole hell hate you.
Grr, now I feel angry.

But on the other hand, pictures and uploaded onto sjab website :)

...

2009-06-07T17:30:00.002+08:00

I think I hurt my ankle during ALC
Now I can't walk properly, how?

Happy Birthday Fang!!
Vivien

ALC

2009-06-06T16:11:00.002+08:00

Let's skip back to the first day, I'm doing this cause I'm gonna write an epilouge, :)

Day One:

I received a telephone after my shower.

Ruiqi: Hello, vivien?
Me: Yess? Did someone forget their socks?
Ruiqi: No... ahha. Do you know its 8 today?
Me: WHAT?!?! HUIXIAN TOLD ME 830!
Ruiqi: Its 8 what, a lot of people are here already.
Me: REALLY!?!
Ruiqi: Wait ah..
Wanxin: HELLO VIVIEN?!
Me: YES!? ITS 8?
Wanxin: YEAH!!!
Me: oh mans, what time is it now?
Ruiqi: 745
Me: Oh okay, byebye.

Then I forced my mum to rush, and it turned out to be 830. Gahaha.
My squadmates are so cute.
after that we went to help Staff Liwen with the nametags and stuff and saw some of the standard ones. Yup~ You know I'm such a bad senior, I can't remember the names of the cute cute standardones. I can only remember 5/7.

Anyway, then the we had the opening ceremony, it was okay I guess. Not the one I expected but cool. Okay, not very. I was hoping they could the do the sorting ceremony like last year, but they didnt do it, mans. Maybe cause the hat would get thirsty after all the StandardOnes, but hats can't drink water.

Yup, then we went to.. umm. okay wait I forgot. I only can rememeber, I think we played Icebreakers, chemistry isit. Yeah, I think the front games were quite boring. I almost dislocated my ankle cause of how tightly Cpl Tabitha tied my ankle and hers together. Got wet, so fast tsk. Okay anyway, I liked the Exterminator one so cute lol. And we did the log stick thing, Aegis and Hera got the same cause we had a lack of time.

One Two Three Jump~
I got exterminated by miss ching.
but it was cool to watch. haha.

Then we had the yummy lunch, redid the food cheer 3 times, but it was yummy. Haha, then we had talks with the standardones (during lunch), so cute lah. I just realised, John from standardones is in Hera waaha.

Then we had the the.. war. It was fun, but kinda violent. haha
I think the memories are better if I safekeep them haha.
Oh yes, I made a mistake of tricking some water on a standard one and she emptied a whole bucket on me. Thanks ah. But the game was fun, cause the standarones went running when they saw me approaching with an (empty) water grenade.

Then we got wet, so very wet. And we went to the studio to stink up the place.
I saw shiting, yay.
"I'm sorry people are so jealous of me, I can't help it that I'm so popular"
Yeah.

Then, we went home, tired and sweaty.

Day 2:

We came to school, I was exceptionally tired.
Then we went to LT, got briefed about the day's stuff.
Then we went for the telematch. No one got injured yet.

The telematch was quite fun, except that it was quite boring at the first part.
Yup, and the smelling thing was hard. I don't know what I was smelling.
And the tasting was quite easy cause everything that needed to be guessed was floating around lol.

Hera was second last/ or last. cause Brandon sprained his ankle and staff wenzhong had to TOC him back.
See, casualty number one.

Then we went to destroy the greek monsters and um worship the gods haha.
Then Casualty Number Two happened during the backwards run. Cpl Marcus fell and injured his wrist, then everyone went uhh to wish him faster recovery, yup.

Cpl Tabitha went to help Cpl Marcus, while we sat down and talked. On the road.
Then yeah, we played the centaur and horse game, with celine being our butt.
It was funn cause no one got injured haha.

Oh thejoy of childhood games.
Oh before that we had pretty cool games like the hitting the head thing, and the gorgon thing (which me and rongying had a private, no not really. Very long laugh at haha), and the oh jeez, the monkey bars thing. I'm so proud to say Jiatai can do 10 chin ups haha.So cool luh.

anyway, then after that setback, we went to LT where we were evaluated.
Then we had lunch, redid food cheer again too.
Then we went to katong park.

Amazingly, it was really cool.
We had the relay, where we had to hop, dribble, run, skip etcetc.
We finished 2nd! whoa.
It was really special cause everyone started cheering other houses' cheers. haha.
Cause we were trying to figure out Benny's cheer when we all started cheering their cheer, and Jac had a sudden spurt of highness and proceeded on to do all the other cheers haha.
Then after the relay

Casualty Number 3, sgt yeukho who had crams.

yup, then we had 3-way captain ball, I got crushed by 2 foots.
And then Casualty Number 4, Staff Wenzhong fell.

So everyone was certain that Jiatai would be next cause someone from every standard got hurt except for him haha. But in the end, he was unscathed haha.
He must have been super vigilant.

Then we went back to DHS, and we had 15 minutes, 15!!
To change, so we had a super long and leisurly time in the restroom to the extent that we got deoderant by Cpl Christine.

Okay then was dinner, haha. The same, we did a cool food cheer, no repeats.
Then we went to the hall had some thing acting thing.
MingYu flashed (his stomach)
Omygod.

Then we danced the night away with our squadmates :)
And I went home, the end of ALC 2009 :(

Epilogue:

Today I passed by Katong Park, and I felt sad.

Vivien

anticipation

2009-06-03T23:29:00.002+08:00

I have come to the notion today that my blog is a dull place to be. haha
It's just the way I phrase things, they sound the same.

What the hell am I doing, staying up so late.
tsk.
I didn't do any work today again.
tomorrow I must must must start.

Let's see who's still online haha
Nobody!!
Means I have to sleep now, okay everyone is offline except for a sgt.

hurrhurr
bye
Vivien

" "

2009-06-02T20:07:00.003+08:00

One day I shall lock my blog, or delete it

Get back to work dumbass

[edit]

Oh jeez, look at the time

[/edit]

Hurmph

2009-06-02T18:30:00.003+08:00

Hurrah, there is Fighting Spiders later

Anyway, the food fair was -_- ( ah, so cute haha)
But yummy haha, spending time with my dear momme, and the two other kids
Popular Fair was cool, everything was cheap(er)

I got new coloured pens, and 2 books.

Eunice has been going on about Sims 3 on her blog when today by coinkidink the advertisement popped up while I was searching about X-men. And it had that PG13 thingy with 'some sexual refrences'.

:O

There's SJ tomorrow, First-Aid refresher course. We're wearing corpstee for 3 days straight

I feel tired suddenly, and hungry.
My, I'm going to get fatter, sigh.

Vivien

wham

2009-06-01T21:34:00.002+08:00

I would like to thank Miss Ang for making me stand at the edge of the roof to snap that first picture. Scared my beejeebies off.

I just watched Daredevil, and I came to a notion that I seriously hate it when people shout when they fight. I mean, don't you find it so annoying. It's like

-Runs super fast, flips off the roof gracefully-
AAAAARGH

But the movie was cool, I liked the part where the girl was dying in his arms, it could've been longer but he had to run away from the bugger police who came. Morbid isn't it?
It (shouting) just seriously ruins the momentom, momentum, whatever.

Yes, tomorrow I'm going to the food fair, then the book fair.
Hurrah!

I've been slacking, so far I've only done like 3/4 of the Science Paper.
arrgh. I want the All American Rejects CD, wahoo~ Oh yes, photography today was cool. As it always is with dear Ang. Wanxin. teehee.

If I were to list the reasons of how afraid I am of people whacking me, the list would be very long, and comprising of only people's names. In fact, it would look something like this.

Vivien

sh*t

2009-05-31T22:24:00.003+08:00

I'm not really that into censorship.
I was about to strike out everything, because I won't waste my time brooding over this bunch of no-use crap that'll get me no where in life.
Actually thinking back I'm not really sure why I said that.
I guess, it's my fault.
But even if after 2 years, I'm still feeling like I never belonged there, then it really isn't your problem anymore. I guess I can't blame anyone for not trying to make a class, well a class.
I never really tried too, but technically, I wasn't really in the right position to do so.
I guess, I'm really the bitch here, cause you all tried. but couldn't be bothered to share that joy. Nevermind. It was always about you guys anyway. So I'm with no right supposed to bad mouth you here. I would make this small, but since you all rarely visit anyone's blogs other than those in your circle of friends, I don't really see the point.

But I'm not really there anymore.
Wowie, primary school was the bomb.

Ah, joy, I just wasted so much space on you all. Nevermind, I shall make it extra small to give space for the true joyful stuff in my life.

When I'm famous and making a great living being a rockstar and singing with All American Rejects on stage, or when I'm working hard and smiling to myself while writing the next teenage novel. I'll think about everyone but you all. :)

tee hee.
I'm so full of myself now.
See ruiqi, your tags make me feel conceited haha.
It's okay though, I cool down and be back to brooding in no time.

Wahoo, I'm working on a new chapter.
Vivien

FUNdamental depth

2009-05-31T17:18:00.003+08:00

I blame my stupid self for being too introvertic can not mixing with you all.
I blame my stupid self for being too ugly and unpopular to be your classmate.
I blame myself for being unthankful to the memories I had in class 2 years ago

Yes, so I'm not a very sociable person (mainly because I never liked some of you)
Maybe I should quit going to outings like today and be an 'anti-_____'
okay?

sure. this is what reflecting on the bus makes me think.

Anyhoo, today Ms Yeo's wedding (I won't use mrs because I'm not sure how to spell Mr.Fandi's name) it was glamorous. It was fun watching everyone grown up already.

I gave up on going to Valerie's house because I knew that it would be no different in anyway.
So I just went home.

It was fun seeing you all again :)

bye now
Vivien

Last RT; Rio Tinto

2009-05-29T19:34:00.006+08:00

Today. Was the worst most normal end of term day ever.

It was terrible
I hated it

Anyway holidays are so very busy, even though my mum cancelled the Australia trip cause of H1N1. And now its packed with Open House, Miss Yeo's wedding, Cleon Outing, RS and Science meet-up, computing, ALDs, Some CPR revision and First Aid revision this wednesday. And I still want to go out with Eunice and Nana, Ducky and Nicole maybe.

My momme's so cute

Mom: I cancelled the trip already. Deposit ____ dollars
Me: Huh, so much ah
Mom: Ya, I keep telling myself spend ______ on safety beats spending _____
there.
Me: Ohh okay.
Mom: So with the remaining money, what would you like for your birthday? A camera?
Me: No need lah.

Today we had 50 minutes of RT. Waste my time ah.
It's the last RT summore.

I'm looking forward to open house tomorrow, I shall support Justin and Weixiang in the library. How fun! haha

Today my dear wednesday-pontyana cried.
Don't cry honey~~~
And stop making it so obvious can ji you lah haha.

And ruiqi didnt sleep for the whole night, and didn't eat her meals.
Hai.

Eunice removed her tagboard, put it back lah! I talk more to you there than on MSN haha.

Overall with Spring Cleaning, Report Books, Geog(slack aha), 50 RT minutes, Rio Tinto(which was so fun to do). Today just -.-

Vivien
Bless the holidays.

[Edit]
I feel great!
therefore:

http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9643061/i-hate-you-no-not-really-chapter-8
http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9643137/i-hate-you-no-not-really-chapter-9

I just had a haircut, I hate my fringe.
[/edit]

Happy Birthday Momme

2009-05-28T20:08:00.004+08:00

Happy Birthday Momme :)

I'm not close to lying when I say that you're the bestest mum in the world
I'm so sorry I didn't get you anything.
I am not worthy of such a mother, don't worry one day I'll pack up and rid myself from your life.
Still Happy Birthday and always remember you're the best mum in the world; nothing can ever beat that.

I think I have depression, my hair's going awry, I feel tired all the time and I wanna puke.
And I get annoyed easily and sometimes I wanna just hit someone.
It's the last day of school tomorrow, and I'm not really sure how I shoud re-act.

I'm glad that the stupid school days are finally over.
I'm glad that I can wake up at 10 everyday now.

I'm not glad because streaming's coming.
And a whole lot of other crap that's gonna happen.

Oh I'm so bloody happy.
Look what you've done to me Dunman High.
Look what you've rightfully done to me.

Vivien

No one ever asked you to come to our class. You got assigned, so if you have so much to say, remember its always 36 against you. If you have so much to say(complain), what are you doing here?

Frontier

2009-05-26T16:48:00.004+08:00

It's raining now

Don't you just love the smell of rain?
It's such a perfect afternoon.
When it rains like this, everything seems softer. What would I give to snuggle up in my mattress alone with the bright florescent light next to me and read a loony teenage novel.

I would not of course, sleep. Because it is a waste to sleep your way through such a wonderful afternoon. I would most definitely not, spend my time away in such an afternoon doing homework. Even in the rain homework seems rock hard, but oh look what I'm doing now. OKay technically I'm blogging but whatever.

Ah, it just stopped raining.

Today was great. From the auditions (where dear old Eunice, Winky and Yihfang smsed me goodluck, and everyone came to watch :)) to the end of the day when I did CIP with Jingyee and screwed up the paint.

Except for PE, which sucked like mad hell. (Yes, I'm not afraid to admit this, it sucked bombastically.) And it brought down my mood for the whole day, sent me to wonderland in Math. Sorry Fena for affecting you if I did :(

Ah, I love what my squad can do to alter my ego. The ambulances and the rest made me cackle like crazy.

What's wrong with a little straightforwardness you may ask. Aw nah, it's nothing, except it brings us all crashing down from the low point we already were at. A little louder narration of what you think perhaps? Yeah, I'll tell you, I wanted to throw the ball at you.
I was trying really hard not to lose my head. I want to be a better person.
you wait and see.

Vivien.

Deem

2009-05-24T14:22:00.004+08:00

A bit lag but nevermind

Give me this or give me hell

Haha, okay I know Eunice doesn't read my blog cause all she gets are stupid posts.
One day I shall go to Leisure Park with her and eat in the food court.
And then we shall go catch a concert :)

Haha.
My mum just scolded my brother for um, being gay.
Before that we went to the Merridian for High Tea.

High Teas are like, linner or dunch.
I hate High Teas, I fell asleep during the High Tea.
So anti-social. Hai. Can talk to people don't want, go and sleep on the table.

Yup~ Then morning was Tien Hsia, it was okay I guess.
Then.. there was the guy.. his brother, my brother.
And then, we're gonna eat Nasi Lemak for dinner

Then tomorrow shall be ryan's birthday
And Merlion Photoshoot
And rooftop photoshoot

Tuesday I have the audition with John and History

Wednesday Cleon Day

Thursday Homework

Friday RT, tingxie, Rio Tinto, Science Mock Test, Geog submission, LA letter submission

How exciting
bye
Vivien

-.-

2009-05-22T22:05:00.003+08:00

thank you Dunman High, for you have shed light on what I call Misery, Disaster, Shit and more Shit.

1)Geog Points: List the advantages and disadvantages of high tech farming
with ref. to hydroponics and aeroponics [Next geog lesson]
2)Zhou Ji [Monday]
3) File Geog File [Next Geog Lesson]
4) Ting Xie [Friday]
5)Math Assignment 10 [Tuesday]
6) Math Checkpoint 2 [Tuesday]
7) History Project [Tuesday]
8) LA letter [Friday]
9)Science Log [Next Science Lesson]
10) Science Mock test [Friday]

Guess what I wrote on my handbook.

Yeah, my GPA is 2.93333333333333333, so what
Like homework is gonna help.
And pop quizzes too. yeah, PQs help to raise us up, but if we do badly, vice versa.
tsk, I feel so frustrated.
I have Youth Day auditions this week, along with Photog.Photo shoot, and all those on top.
And RT, and tuition.

I wrote this in my LA reflections
'Frankly, because education is robbing us of our childhood'
And I got 18/20 for that. See.
At least Mr.Harris agrees.

Vivien
How did it happen that everyone knew? I thought it was just a mere advice thing and then the conflict and then the resolution? Now we're known to be all competitive. Great great. Spare me. please.

[edit]
STFU lah. Both of you
[/edit]

:(

2009-05-20T20:16:00.004+08:00

PD was the highlight of the day.
haha, it was so cool. We had to treat like 5 people.
But we really didnt do much cause there were a lot of SJAB people there.

But we had fun nevertheless cause the whole PD group mainly consisted of Std 2s and 2 sirs.
Pretty cool.

We had some intracomp post-brief this morning.
It was kind of akward at the end.
I owe my sincere gratitude to the guy who slammed a ball at my shoulder.
I didn't have to face up to the guilt.

Not so much of the one later in the afternoon who slammed a ball at my arm.
You rock man.

Me (to no one in particular): Omg, crazy. This person called 'Hello, I'm
from some agency to ask you some questions. Blablabla. How old are you?' I said
'Oh 18 and over, bye.'

-silence-

Jiayi: HAHA

Stupid lah you, lagger haha.
Yes, it's okay now.

Mans, I missed photography.
Sorry wanxin!

I miss Eunice.
Vivien

[edit]
Today my brother received a worksheet which asked him to 'read this with your father'
And he couldn't do it.
[/edit]

forever

2009-05-18T20:05:00.004+08:00

Today was marvellous, no seriously it was.

I'm really sorry if I made you all shocked or some what negative in the lift.

Next time if it happens again, I'll just make a dent in the wall after I walk out :)

Anyway, today was cool.

Assembly was cool.

Everything was good.

Except that little last part there.

Other than that, my day was wonderful.

I guess when intracomp is over, a little nursing bonding over lunch just patches up that little hole. :)

Hera Standard Twos may be staying back this Friday if there's no RT to discuss something.

There's PD this wednesday, I shall make the best of it.

If everyday was like that, school would be a brighter place to be.

Me: mummy, can I go to watch a play next Saturday?
Mum: what date
Me: 30th.
Mum: cannot my birthday day.
Me: Oh yeah, mans.
Me: NO WHAT.
-10 minutes-
Me: Please can I go?
Mum: What date?
Me: 30th! Its in the afternoon.
Mum: cannot, got flu.
Me: what?

haha, now she says that depending on the H1N1 outbreak, by this friday, if its good, I can go.

yayers.

Okay, that's the end of my perfect day.

Thank you jaime, claudia, yihfang, huixian, celine, shiting, soosoosoo and ruiqi

And whoever made my day a proper one, ily.

yeah, I'm can be bitch.

god, I'm ugly and haggy.

Vivien

External disappointment

2009-05-15T21:12:00.009+08:00

Decided to post in detail.

Anyway, today started off fine.
Nono, first I had a dream about me missing intracomp cause I woke up too late.
And I went to bake muffins for Hera to compensate. Then I saw Yihfang and Claudia who couldnt enter the school cause they had a temperature of 44 degrees celcius. Then when we got into the school we saw everyone sitting on the floor. With another extra house 'lemon', and Hera got third.

We got third anyway. I will not stop until I get first, or silver.
Because it was evident which house was gonna, nevermind.

But, it's sad because, this year's intracomp was so screwed.
For we had 7 short weeks.
Because there's always going to have to be a last position.
And then the discomfort and stuckness of having to see others.
I know some, who aren't actually that happy with the results.
Can't say I'm too pleased myself.

We all gave our best, but in the end, its always the winner that gets the happy posts.
Or second or both or even third. Maybe it's just me.

Because everyone started crying during Footdrill, excluding Celine, Cpl Tabitha and Jiatai.
And the last goodbye for intracomp with the Standard Fours was 4 handshakes and a few sentences.
And from the sidelines during footdrill, I knew that there was an air of 'shit, screwed liao'

Because you see, even though it's over.
The sadness still remains.

The Standard Ones were really cute though. haha.
I wonder if those Standard Ones that have so far been with me around during Zone comp and Rec Day will be in Hera.

Anyway, I shall treasure whatever we have got today, thoughts or items forever and ever. Until they rot in me, I shall never ever throw them away. Because this is what Hera Standard Fours '09 did for us this 2 years. Man, now my Mondays will be oddly empty. :( I'm so sorry if we let you all down today. I guess, nothing can be done to make it up can it. Celine puts all she wants to say into one word "Sorry" ( I did not force her, or anything)

Me: If we get above fifth, you can hit me.
Cpl Tabitha: Okay.
Me: If we get top 3, I owe you a thirty cents drink.
Cpl Tabithia: SURE. ON.
Jiatai: If we get 3rd or above, I CHOP OFF MY HEAD.
Me: you say one ah.

Right.

What the #&#)( hell is wrong with me today.
Crying for the first time in school, so demoralising. HAI.
Vivien

water-logged

2009-05-14T19:30:00.004+08:00

Yessum, I've found a song!
Anyway, Marina Barage was cool. Especially the green roof.
The scenery was so picture perfect, and the atmosphere was so nice warm and cooling.

HuiXin was talking about possible class photo positions
Like all of us hanging from the rails of the Singapore Flyer.
Or Mdm.Rozana taking a helicopter to take an aerial photo of us lying on the ground forming a 2C

And I missed comp train, mans.
We got our year books, that's pretty heavy.
Kay bye.

My My My. That's all you know is there.
Vivien

dysfunctional

2009-05-12T18:15:00.006+08:00

School made me feel twisted and warped in all the wrong places

That's why I ran off from the hellhole after it ended.
I'm sorry.

It doesn't take a genious to find out how pathetic I actually am. Stop denying it.

I'm gonna survive; with the bare minimum

So this what rock bottom looks like.

[edit]

The thing with fireworks is that they fade off in a matter of seconds.

I feel like a slitch :(

I'm super sorry Fena and Jingyee. And Yasmine.

[/edit]

yay~

2009-05-10T14:58:00.007+08:00

Don't be angry okay?

Although I got a 7/48, you still smiled.

I still have my cup to give you :)
Don't be too sad:)
You're the bestest mum in the world. Even if I haven't been the best (or even close to that) daughter, I have the bestest mum in the world. Really lah, even though you shout a lot, and um. Quite sadistic. But you're still my momme. I swear when I'm old, I'll buy you a plane haha. If I'm rich enough. And then I'll spoil you silly haha.

Now, I shall try my hardest to make you happy.

---------------------------------------------------------------
There's a &@#& insect flying around me.
Die. It's not like I didn't shower this morning.

hurr~ I don't want to go for Youth Day cause no squadmates want to come along :(
I'm such a geek.
I wish Rogue and Gambit were in a movie and I would go and watch them.
wth is wrong with me.

Go away bug.
Talking to Panda now.
Bye.

Vivien

[edit]

Fine youtube. Be like that.

Delete the only time when I laugh at the Jonas Brothers. And when Mickey Mouse becomes Darth Vader.

Go youtube.

[/edit]

Gooshywooshy

2009-05-08T20:52:00.006+08:00

Hello~
Decided to remove that post; wasn't me.

Everyone's so sad.
I see no reason why my happiness should prevail.
Anyway, RT was cool, I guess.
Then again, when the tough gets going, the going gets tough.
Because its not easy to not give up, but it's easy to let go.

What bish bosh am I talking about.

Anyway, if JNCO would be 3 days 4 nights of yesterday's RT (or worse)

I would die, because I couldnt even walk in a straight line yesterday.

I have doubts in TOC. In everything actually.

I'm standing on the fence about the Youth day thing.

Sorry Carin, but I may want to back out of the whole thing.
Because sometimes, these things don't feel in the right place yet.
I'm so sorry. I don't know, maybe I can bribe a squadmate to go on with me haha.
I think maybe I would feel more comfortable.
I'm sorry Carin :(, but if you were to go up and solo I'd be proud to have a classmate like that haah.

Right, I'm not very good at this.

Wolverine was amazing haha.
I like the stupid Wade guy and the Gambit.
Just now I dreamt about butterflies. Weird.

kay, bye.
Vivien
*credits to Justin who took the picture with my camera*

Mistrust

2009-05-06T20:45:00.004+08:00

Don't trust me, don't ever; it'll break your heart all over again.

I'm sick and tired of pretending it doesn't matter to me. I've been crying a lot to myself these few days.

[edit]
And now, who's the one who has to face up to the truth?
I laugh at your puerile being.
[/edit]

Born loser; dong -Third Edittion

2009-05-03T18:56:00.010+08:00

My back hurts
So does every single part of my body.

I hate Chinese, because I don't want my mum to sign my 3/48 test script
or my 3/20 tingxie.

I freaking hate Chinese.
Curse you Chinese.

Get back to Math lamo, you've been slacking.

Credits to Sgt Mae's blog
OMG!

Shit, stop getting distracted, fool.

[edit]

[σηє ѕqυα∂ σηє ѕριяιт] ♥Naminegal:
I cant aford to fail anything already

[a=1][c=4]★Jingstar(Gorilla)★[/c=9] [c=9]Inheritance Cycle Book 4[/c=12]
[c=12]Speech Day Parade 2009[/c=4][/a]:
i think you got better marks than me alr lah

[σηє ѕqυα∂ σηє ѕριяιт] ♥Naminegal:
No. I got 3/48 for chengyu test (I'm such a nit for remembering this cruel fact), the first test of the year. -.-

a=1][c=4]★Jingstar(Gorilla)★[/c=9] [c=9]Inheritance Cycle
Book 4[/c=12] [c=12]Speech Day Parade 2009[/c=4][/a]:
Wow, that was one test, cheer up.

I screwed math test; I'm gonna fail again

Don't act like it's alright and I'm gonna be fine mommy.
It's not.
In fact, it's an epic failure, proof of what an incompetant fool I am.

I wish the half that disappeared behind the door; came back.
Comp train was cool as usual, made me forget about Math for a moment.

SC position. Go wipe your ass with your DAward.
[/edit]

Tippo Tapoo

2009-05-02T21:02:00.001+08:00

Salvation from Maths

Help mee~ I'm gonna fail maths.
Fail fail fail.
And Swine Flu is gonna kill me.
-collapses-

Vivien

hey, I love SJABhoneys :)

2009-05-01T21:53:00.004+08:00

Today was so funn~ haha
Check out :
Here and
Here

I didn't take any pictures today haha.
Anyway, we missed one stop (on the bus), I was gaping at the open road which lead to my house
haha, there was loads of laughing, fighting (with kinives and chopsticks) and gossip (lol, in evitable, see lah)

Okay.

Tomorrow I shall:
Do Zhou Ji
Do Math Moodle Quiz again!
Read To Kill A mockingbird

Sunday I shall:
Read To kill a mockingbird
Do math past year CT and some random questions

Now I shall:
Re-write my jianbao after dear mum edited it for me :)

Zac Efron is hot~ haha

Me: Eh next time Squad Outing we tie the guys and ruiqi up and watch 17
again!
Winky: Okay!!
Ruiqi: NOOO

lol okay, I get your point panda :)
Winky's head is as hollow as a bongo, haiyo. tsk
Yihfang is ... gossipy! and loud haha
Claudia, scares the crap out of me.
Ruiqi, hates Zac Efron. haha

kay, bye!
Vivien

♥SJABhunnies:)

Loser

2009-04-30T19:36:00.003+08:00

I just relieved my Icon(Standard One Camp) moment by cooking myself an egg omelette with tuna.

Eunice: Who will want to call a person with a wrong number when they know
that an old uncle wiill pick it up and say 'F you'
Vivien: Why would you even know an old uncle would say F you? I mean it's a
wrong number.
Eunice: That time I called a wrong number and an old uncle picked up and
said "F*** You"
*Unlike me, Eunice actually said the real word out*
Vivien: HAHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA
Eunice: VIVIEN!! ITS NOT FUNNY!!
Vivien: Yes it is. Hahaha.

lol, okay.
I suddenly love my mom a lot :(
A slight stiff reply or request makes me think I've hurt her

Vivien

2009-04-29T17:41:00.005+08:00

Today was fun, haha :)

There was laughter, joy.
And then there was that slight anger again.
But it's okay, I don't plan to forgive you anytime now.
So call me a fucking user. Get your act straight.

Anyway, walked home with yihfang and jiaen.
(muaha, stupid yihfang was highing and biting my straw and drooling in it, eee)
Hm, and yeah. Claudia, I love you haha, thanks for telling me about that.

I don't know why, haha.
Winky is going around calling me Vivien Harp and Big Badminton Racket.
Grah.

okay, bye!
stop ranting about my house (to everyone) at any possible time okay?
Vivien

2009-04-27T20:10:00.004+08:00

I can't stand this anymore.
Hello, I'm here to state why I won't really be smiling to people in the next few days.

Because, I'm sick, measely sick to having to deal with the disappoint faced by people around me.
And the disappointment I feel in myself, for disappointing others.

I'm a failure as a person.
I'm goingtofailchinese. The test was hard, and I screwed it up badly. I got 3/20 for tingxie cause i failed the seond try. I got 5(or lower)/48 for my chengyu test. And no matter how hard I try in compos or other stuff, I just can't seem to make a difference in the 6 and 7 Im getting. And my mum's gonna take the blow the hardest; because I keep disappointing her in Chinese, she ain't ever going to put any faith in me again. She's never going to be the mum she was 2 years ago, telling everyone I got A*. She's never going to smile for my grades anymore.
And she doesn't even know, she doesn't even know the state I am in now. And today, she went shopping to get stuff for me. I don't deserve it okay, I never did. I don't know what am I to do now, I'm not as smart as her. or her. or him. I just can't seem to pull up anything. They're all on the floor. I don't know what am I to do to make her a happy mum. Maybe if I move out onto the streets or out of her life, it would save her the pain.

I've given up hope. It took hard realisation today to find out that you guys were never there.
I never heard a word of motivation from you all before.
It's like, you today. When I told you about Chinese you just rambled on about yours. Even though you know that you'll do better than me. Or that time when you laughed in my face when I got 5(or below)/48 for the chengyu test.Or the time when you said nothing and walked away when I got 3/20 for my tingxie. What's that about, snorting at my self-known inferiorty.
I haven't been a good friend too.

And you. What you say, to everyone. About wanting something so much. It actually hurts okay, you know I never wanted to call you a bitch in the first place. But you're turning into one anyway. Now whenever I see you, I'm affected and I'd get all worked up and want to hit you. so for the benefit of you, just stop. Because the damage is already done.

I don't want to disappoint anyone again.
Especially my mum.
That why the things you say, really. It just doesnt seem we can ever be friends again.

Wow, I just realised, what a pathetic fool I've actually morphed into.
What a pathetic, friendless, lousy squadmate and classmate I actually am.
I'd give anything to shun into an introvertic world.

It's confirmed today; I'm stuck
I'm stuck, and I'm trying hard to avoid any more disappointment.
I don't want to disappoint my mum, my squadmates and Hera Standard Fours.

But maybe one day, disappointment'll turn its back on me.
God, I swear I haven't felt this miserable since ever. I've been crying for 45 minutes already.
Crying is a fugly thing.

[edit]
Shut the bloody hell up, you.
Not you you, YOU. Your form of words on my tagboard as run dry in my mental capacity.
They didn't affect me; in any possible way.
[/edit]

Re-lived

2009-04-24T21:26:00.008+08:00

Sorry worry, I decided to remove the Jonas Brothers song in case my mom comes to check if I posted continously.

Anyway RT was fine; I guess.
The good part overwhelmed the bad part, thus proving it to be okay.

I guess PT was cool, shiting said that PT should be like Sprint, stop, sprint, stop, sprint stop, sprint, stop all the way haha. But i think I'd be striken down with a heartattack. Unlike fit shiting here.

Anyway, I've got a lot of homework piled up for um. Later and tomorrow
I still have 20 su yus, 20 yan yus and 60 everything.
And Jem's diary and Scout's scrap book
And LA Lit circle and LA persuasive speech.

Beejeebers. I need to do well for all of them.
Um yeah~ haha
I don't understand why I'm laughing, this plagues me with gayicsm.

This is dehumanizing ( I don't even know what that means), it's a deep seated fear that continuosly plagues me. If I were to talk about some ancedotes of mine, I would say 'Oh the highest calibre in my school life was to finally complete my school work without having to shrink into the endless bout of mental diffusion.' This scant of a life, is just morbid I tell you.

aha~ thanks to my handy vocab book (self-penned) I wrote out that whole very nicely elaborated passage.

Did I fail to mention that whilst adding the effect of burnt book to my scrapbook for LA, I accidentally burnt off the cover page.

There are some blogs in the word, which when read; reminds me plainly of sour ass.
I wouldn't know about mine, until someone told me.

Vivien

So I lost my thumbdrive, everything inside is gone. So for RS tomorrow, if we get into trouble, or for computing. It all becomes my fault right? Typical. Especially from you, if you do say 'F*ck you vivien yap, all our work is gone' I'm gonna act like I never knew you. Tomorrow's gonna be the best damned day of my life.

Midtrack

2009-04-22T20:12:00.004+08:00

1) HCL compo (Friday)
2) HCL wsh (Friday)
3) Science Test (Tomorrow)
4) HCL test (Monday)
5) Math test (Monday)
6) LA Aretfacts (Monday)
7) LA literary Luminary (Monday)
8) LA reflections (Monday)

I hate Mondays

Today had POP discussion, didn't really make much out of it.

Haiz, problem with being with the people you love.

Credits to Wanxin for taking the pictures (minus some) during Marathon last year. haha

Thinking back it was so morbid, you were running, we were up there forcing you to smile.

Anyway, today was cool.
Although. Nevermind.

Wanxin's with John~
Muahah, so happy for her.
She made my butt bleed today, eee.

I should stop updating everyday.
Vivien

&she fell into my arms; thankyou gravity

2009-04-21T20:09:00.004+08:00

I hope you saw my (disgusted) face today.
Hope it made your day; and for a note.
I'm actually sorry for making that rude remark in class. Wonder if you heard it.
Still, -wiggles tongue at your backside-

Homework list- and I'm gone okay?

1) ~~LA PERSUASIVE SPEECH~~ (which so nicely includes news of Miley Cyrus's
racy pictures hah)
2) HCL test (Next Monday)
3) Math test (Next Tuesday)
4)Geography test (Week 8)
5) Science test- Circulation, Digestion, Blood (This Thursday)
6) ~~Math Assignment 7~~
7) HCL worksheet (Friday)
8) LA artefact -Print poster, Make Jem's diary (Next Monday)
9) Computing (thursday)

How close are the deadlines.

On a high note, I found my berry on the other side of my mum's bed today.
I don't wanna die, curse you cynical scientists.

Vivien

Please be Mine- Jonas Brothers

2009-04-20T22:53:00.002+08:00

They come and go
But they don't know that you are my beautiful
I try to come closer with you
But they all say we won't make it through

But I'll be there forever
You will see that it's better
All our hopes and our dreams will come true
I will not disappoint you
I will be right there for you 'til the end
The end of time
Please be mine

-The Jonas Brothers: Please be Mine

I'm so petrified by the not-so-distant future.
Please let them stay a little longer

Vivien

Re: Letter to the Jonas Brothers (and The Cathay)

2009-04-19T20:31:00.004+08:00

Dear Jonas Brothers, (and Cathay Cinema)

Today, I went to watch the 3D Concert of Jonas Brothers at The Cathay.
I must state that it was a marvellous showcase of talent and style.

Although I would like to raise one problem:
Please control those screaming girl fans of yours.
Because they were screaming bejeebies and dancing whamiies during the movie the whole way.

Especially, I might add during each and every (bloody) closeup shot of Nick, Joe, Kevin, Frankie, Big Rob, Demi Lovato. (none to taylor swift due to that unfortunate little phone breakup) and ten times louder 20 seconds during the backstage-changing session where Joe was seen without a top.

Please, this concerns the welfare of your fans.
Do you really want perverted fans who reach out and grab you doing performances, and scream at the thought of your naked body (and 'hotdog'?) or do you want healthy fans who are content with what they see with clothes on.

Also, please make your trip to Singapore asap, as the girl fans here are turning into barbarians even while waitching the movie. Come to singapore to teach them the proper manner to sit in the cinema and silently scream in their heads and only scream and jump in the stadium with you. Yes, I almost threw my 3D glasses at them today; please if you do not want me to kill the whole stadium of fans when you come 5 years (or more) later. COME NOW.

Although the movie was picture perfect, and definetly worth the money to get the DVD and watch it at home and jump and scream at all the songs.

Yours sincerely,
Vivien

Rofl; from panda-roo :)

Recreational day

2009-04-18T21:37:00.009+08:00

Recreational day was kinda cool.
haha.

I can still remember the names of all the Standard Ones, who were very cute aha.
Angelina, Michelle, Bo Ling, Jun Hao, Terence

Yeah and I went with Jaime, we talked a lot hha. Eric, Cpl Christine, Cpl Yiren, Staff Zhi Wei and Sgt Jing Qing.

I'm better than Eric who remembers me by my chinese name cause he has a classmate with the same name cause he doesn't know my english name. He only knows that 'I'm HERA!'

What Winky used my phone for today
Aww~ you're so cute. haha.
She another one of me- and my mirror broke.

But I have 2 more of me and my cousin.And JIAEN!

haha, okay. My cousins face is cut off cause I mistook my height and propped the camera at that height. Not camwhoring or anything. (OMG, thats the first time I used this word in my blog)
Yeah. :)

I feel so girly now -.-
And I just realised that the song Fena always hums during class is Poker Face.
lol. okay

Happy Birthday!(s)
And yeah~
bye

Vivien

Winky: Eh that bustop is only 158 only right?
Ruiqi: Yeah. The bus just left what
Winky: THEN WHY IS JIQIN STILL THERE!!

failure over success

2009-04-17T20:13:00.005+08:00

You know, sometimes, in fact all the time.
I wonder what I would be like if I were the perfect daughter- getting straight A+s and a really hardworking person. Like wendy and patricia or BS and rachel or Wanxin and Celine.

maybe be it's just a downfall of luck.
Life has been too good to me.

A failure doesn't deserve such nice and smart friends. Or an awesome family.
Maybe I should I just give up and walk away.
Because it takes twice the morale and spirit to unbuckle my twisted legs to just stand.

Especially when I've demoralized so already.

so here's my deepest and heartfelt thanks to those who never gave up on me.
Maybe you all can just let go now.

And my heartfelt gratitude to those who laugh at my misery.
Yeah, cause you got your wish.

guess I won't be receiving that mystery box now huh.
haha~ sorry ruiqi :(

See what us crazy casualties were doing during ageis comp train today haha.
I had asthma till my head spinned.

Yeah, alls well and ends well for a down-ridden person with every befalling aspect inplanted in me.
:(

wonder what rec day has install for me.

Oh yeah, today we were doing illegal footdrill. And then huixian suddenly went 'Omg, someone in 4B is staring at us.' Then we all looked at that person who was looking at us. Then I was like 'Okay, let's do FA' and we sat down. Then it turned out to be Staff Liwen who was looking at us in bemusement and I collapsed on the floor. lol, I shouldn't mentioned what I said before I knew it was staff liwen. rofl.

a little laugh wouldnt be much help now; I need a spiritual uplift.

Vivien

Lima Jello

2009-04-16T21:46:00.002+08:00

I've been thinking in the minds of an inventor
and so far I've come up with um. Food

Cookies and cream sweets

Oh and finally I shall tell you about my volcano-theory

I shall fully endorse the idea of blowing the crust up and letting form and harden until it becomes a small island, then the still exsisting but toxic wasteland Pulau Semakau can finally have more space. And soon the whole world will be thirsty for more land mass. So they start blowing up the crust and form like thisWhole World Joined up thing. Then because of the sudden decrease of mantel, the Earth will slowly lose its gravitational pull to the rotation and rotate the other way. Then, slowly something bad will happen (I JUST KNOW IT) and we have to leave the Earth and live in HUGE spaceships like WALLE. So we have 1000 over spaceships floating in space. Then, the Earth will crack cause of the dunno what. Um yeah, the mantel will crack and it will melt the crust back into Molten lava (I obviously forgot all my geography). Then the Earth will reform and we all learnt our lessons and we now freeze water and use them as land fill. Then something bad happened. And the whole cycle repeats itself again.

When this happens, remember to present my reincarnation the Nobel Prize

yeah. Okay.
I wanted to feature Huixian.

[σηє ѕqυα∂ σηє ѕριяιт] ♥ huixian: the biggest failure is to resign to fate,
but do i have any choice?
o.O

[σηє ѕqυα∂ σηє ѕριяιт] ♥ huixian: the
biggest failure is to resign to fate, but do i have any
choice?

HOW?

Like this Wednesday.
haha~ okay, I havent talked to Eunice for a super long time.
I think she hates me man :(

Vivien
I have forgotten about your exsistence;

Fighting Spiders :)

2009-04-14T21:27:00.003+08:00

Fighting Spiders is so cute!
Seriously after little nonya (or little bastard, as yours truly renames it thanks to zhorzhor), Mediacorp has gained confidence in authencity

"I wish I can see her neh neh"

HAHA

Hm~ It's one of the rare times my mum found laughter and innocence in Mediacorp, much less Channel 5 programmes.

I like the peeing part. I was telling my mum about Mr.Harris telling us about the peeing part in TKAM. haha
I love Fighting spiders, hoho.
What's wrong with me omg.

Anyway, homework list!
Why is there even an exclaimation mark.

-tears-
CME- Thursday/Friday
Math Worksheet- Next Monday
Moodle e-assignments- Thursday
LA Artefacts- Week 6 day one
LA reflections x5- Week 6 day one
HCL test- Week 6 day one
LA persuasive speech- Week 5 day 5 2 minutes- aw.
LA compre test- Week 5 day one
LA lit.circle- Next Monday
Maths Common Test- Week 6

鸡 ah.
kns, there goes the last-term-of-maximum-slacking
Vivien

ohoh, happy early birthday wendy!

dirty little secret- breached

2009-04-13T19:44:00.002+08:00

You ought to be disgusted with what you did.

Today would what I would describe as a okay, terrible and amazing day.
okay with the fact that lessons were okay.
Footdrill was okay too, I almost lost my voice whiile giving timing.
Plus, I had to skip comp train cause of CIP. and wanxin almost made my back bleed.

But thanks to Strepsils, I gained it back. (my voice)
And Towner Gardens was okay too.

Amazing was RS and everything else I miss out here.
Want to hear my volcano-end-of-the-world-rebirth idea?

I don't think I need to inform you of what section this would be filed under.

You ought to be disgusted with yourself.
Why don't you just the whole world, post it on the Internet what I told
you.
Cause I doubt your filtering system can differentiate between private and
public.

I'm shocked to know that you're not even aware of what you've done.
I thought you were okay
You know what?
I merely assumed.
Assumptions weren't meant to be accurate.

I doubt this would be cyber bullying, because as much as I see it; it's a breach of trust.
A breach of trust I know I'll never forgive.

Vivien

sloppy days

2009-04-11T16:15:00.002+08:00

Surpirse Wordprise!

Okay whatever.

http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9231340/i-hate-you-no-not-really-chapter-7

Yay~ I'm talking to Annabelle, Fiona and Shiting! (who unfortunately doesn't seem to be replying)

okay, off to do Sciene Reflections

Vivien

hellowello

2009-04-10T17:27:00.004+08:00

-SCREAMS-
WINKY!!
haha~

okay, byebye!

Vivien

happywappy day to you~

2009-04-09T23:20:00.001+08:00

☻/
/▌This Is Bob Copy And Paste Him So He
/ \ Can Take Over Youtube

ROFL. haha :)
Sport's day was cool.

Anyway surprise?
http://www.quizilla.com/stories/9217338/i-hate-you-no-not-really-chapter-6

Vivien

2009-04-07T16:23:00.002+08:00

How hard is it to pull up your grades, get enough sleep, balance CCAs, laugh, play and cry?

very hard.

vivien

2009-04-06T20:01:00.002+08:00

Everyday when I come home from a nice day in school
And today would be school and Hera comptrains, (even though I did fall on my ass and left my valuables in 4B, which Staff liwen said she would pick it up for me tmr)

Today would be the perfect day.
But when I come home, I'm faced with the crude and chilling realisation that
I face emptiness

and everytime when I think of the words you said to me yesterday,
I can't help but to think, Maybe the smile I'm putting on everyday, the faces I make and the comments I make are just coverings to cover up the shrewed insides of me.

It's just sad and pathetic to know that this is what I have to live with; that other people will think I'm a weakling when I claim to never cry.

Maybe it's all just a lie.
And if what I tell other people makes them sad and feel sorry for me.
I don't need anyone feeling my pain and sadness.
Cause this is what I'm doing to myself.
And this is what I'm gonna bear with.

Now you know the real me.
Now you know what a sick coward I actually am.

Rest assure the rest of the day went perfectly.
Even the fall was perfect and I didn't even know what happened.
So, yeah :)

Aren't you sick of me now?
Vivien

2009-04-05T22:54:00.002+08:00

New story :)
http://www.quizilla.com/stories/share/9186960/when-i-lost-everything-everything-found-me

Sorry couldn't help the overwhelming inspiration :D
Based loosely (very very loosely) on squad and a bit about me except in fictious beliefs. (very fictious)
I'm gonna wrap the whole story about how much standard2s '09 mean to me.

My goal? To make all my kids *squad kids* cry when reading this :) haha

Vivien

2009-04-05T20:12:00.010+08:00

I don't want to go to school tomorrow,
cause I'll be faced with the self-brought upon guilt and misery that I skipped one precious comp train.

With my mother affecting me with her shouting and snapping.

It's kinda hard to see a happy day.

vivien

[edit]

Stop the god damned shouting

Stop it. You know for once, I don't think I can stand it anymore

Just, seriously. Stop.

next time you become age 21 , we can see each other. you buy daddy mcdonald cheese burger

I really don't know now.

Leave me alone to rot.

[/edit]

2009-04-04T21:14:00.002+08:00

Two from the above are for photography homework.
Edited and all.

Goshy woshy.
I'm scared.

You know the squad blog says its updated but its not?
yeah~ its really freaky especially since I just watched Pi Li MIT
3 episodes.

Okay, it's a bit too much mystery and stuff for me.
I bet I'll have nightmares today.

-gulps-

Okay, byebye
Oh, new chapter btw. :)

vivien

2009-04-04T13:29:00.002+08:00

When I come home later,
and after I've done (more than half, or half) of my homework

I shall brainstorm and write lyrics about Hera :)
And if I can't do it, I'll just write another another chapter

And if all fails, I'll go to facebook.

Vivien

2009-04-03T23:23:00.002+08:00

Jiaming fractured his arm :O
Hope he gets better, haha. Then he can play with my mask and hook again!

Anyway, today was kinda slow in school.
Yeah..
I can't get the DSLR to work, seriously. I tried adjusting here and there.
And the worst was when I got a black patch.
And then followed by blurriness patch of smudge.
I give up, who says chairperson has to be the best?

I think I'm the worst. Curse you DSLR, made me lose confidence in myself.
But I thank Mr.Hong for trying his best to guide me through, even though the ending product was just pure poo.

Anyway, then there was intracomp.
Time passed so fast here
I totally screwed the case.

Yeah Negro wore black shirt among us greeny-people.
Therefore she's Negro (celine)
and she says I'm a Negro Lover.

And I insistedthat I was racist (which I don;t think I am. just a celine-ist)
Then she said my mum was a racist (she's not, she's a.. mum.)
Then I told her her mum was Hilter. haha
Then she's like 'What hilter. whos hilter... HITLER LAH'
haha~

But today was productive I guess, I want to make the best out of the 5 (- Towner Gardens)
:(
It's the last long shot.
We can do it!

Vivien
Oh before I forget

Linear Graphs HW
Hera Worksheets
Tien Hsia Worksheets
Science Reflections x3
Maths and Science file

don't you get tired of this? haha
Oh and we did 55 keep fits today.
Hurrah

Vivien

Open wide; induce vomit

2009-04-02T17:26:00.002+08:00

I want to change blogskin
But the skin I want only works on Mozilla Firefox.
errh.

Anyway, I just chased my mother round the TV stand cause she was holding a bag of nachos;
the things I do for food. I mean I didn't eat lunch.

I'm not supposed to be blogging cause I have to read up on FA, Math wsh, learn Ting Zie
I've relearnt tingzie for 3 times already.
-groans and rolls over-

oh and I can play with the (borrowed) camera wahoo
Oh and um sorry I couldnt join you all (wanxin, ruiqi, etcect) for lunch today.
Had to get to com lab and discuss stuff with Mr.Hong

Appreciate the tags though.

Maybe I'm the alone one.
What if I'm putting up the facade?

I'm not sure about Music Society Auditions, but I'm pretty sure I won't go cause of work
I had to give up the writing contest cause of work; and here I am posting.

What's life but a couple of papers and giving up your passions?
Yeah, maybe I am the frozen facade.

Vivien

checklist

2009-03-31T16:38:00.004+08:00

As I tagged on my tagboard yesterday,
a new chapter is out.
if you've read it you would know that a new character has been added :)

One more thing: http://www.quizilla.com/lyrics/9150054/astray-love

Homework:
-Malay Revision
-HCL worksheet
-Math Worksheet
-Prepare props for JuBen (Jiaming is gonna be a devil who drags jingyee
out, I don't care. Oh yes, and he's supposed to carry a fairywand. I'll
superglue it to your hand that day)
-Read up on First Aid
-Computing. (speechless, maybe I'll ask when BS and rachel are staying
back...)

Just to tick off.
My days have been better without you.

Vivien

Quiz

2009-03-30T21:55:00.003+08:00

I'm super sorry to those whom I've tagged me and ignored.
I think this quiz I was tagged my yihfang, eunice (?) and wanxin.
So muahaha :D

001. Real name → Vivien Yap Wei Qi
002. Nickname(s) →Momme, Manly (overrated), Vivienna
003. Status → Single...
004. Zodiac sign → Gemini
005. Male or female → Female
006. Elementary → KHS
007. Middle School → Dunman High School
008. High School → Dunman High School
010. Hair color → Black.
011. Long or short → Half half
012. Loud or Quiet → Loud
013. Sweats or Jeans → Jeans
014. Phone or Camera → Phone... Camera.. Both.
015. Health freak → Does Fat Freak count as one?
017. Do you have a crush on someone? → Maaaybe~
018. Eat or Drink → Whats the difference, they both will come out from either hole.
019. Piercings → eee~
020. Tattoos → eee~
021. Water or Fire → FIRE BABY!!
022. Love of your life or 4 Billion Dollars → Both.

FIRSTS:
023. First fear → Uh. My Mum?
024. First best friend → uh... Jenny from Eton house MUAHHA
025. First award → uh.. Kumon -.-
026. First crush → ... Some twin. Forgot which one.
028. First big vacation → I DONT KNOW!!! What uh. China? Korea?
030. First big birthday → 1st Month. (yeah I know)

CURRENTLY:
049. Eating → Nah.
050. Drinking → Nah.
052. I'm about to → Shleep.
053. Listening to→ U+Ur Hand- Pink
054. Plans for today → Shleeep
055. Waiting for → SHLEEP

YOUR FUTURE:
058. Want kids?→ (wanxin wants 4 man.) Uh, I scared. ahah. 2 would be cool.
059. Want to get married?→ Yeah. Not possible though. haha.
060. What careers do you have in mind?→ Rich Rich Rich! Okay fine. Columnist; if wrting comes firrst. Lead singer in band; if music comes first. Baker/florist; if all fails.

WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
068. Lips or eyes → Eyes
070. Shorter or taller? → Taller
072. Romantic or spontaneous → spontaneous. (romance is highly overated haha)
073. Nice stomach or nice arms →Don't know what's 'nice'. My brother's 7.
074. Sensitive or loud → What, both, no wait. I've had enough with sensitive people. But Both would be good.
075. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
077. Trouble maker or hesitant → hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER:
080. Lost glasses/contacts → Getting gum on glasses then trying to remove until I scratched the whole glass piece. Counted?
081. Ran away from home → No~
082. Hold a gun/knife for self defense → Yes. p6, nicholas lim and wenbing. Pen Knife.
083. Killed something→ I'm sorry ants. Yeah and mosquitos. and some other poor creature I killed.
084. Been heartbroken → Yeah
085. Been arrested → Nah
087. Cried when someone died → I'm not sure...

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
089. Yourself → Rarely, but more and more.
090. Miracles → Rarely.
092. Heaven → Frequently.
093. Santa Claus → Yes, cause he stills owes me a black/glow in the dark ipod and a new pencilbox and a Nike Bottle.
094. Sex on the first date → What. Brothel? nah.
095. Kiss on the first date → ee~ wonder when that'll be.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097. Is there one person you want to be with right now → yup
098. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life → No
099. Do you believe in God → Frequently... Rarely. Fluctuates
100. Will you post this as 100 truths and tag 10 people → Maybe. Okay. No.

Vivien

Grudgingly

2009-03-30T19:51:00.003+08:00

Gosh, BS is gonna say I'm a gay when she sees this

I think Hannah Montana's New CD's gonna be great.
I mean the songs are catchy and yeah... why not?

-holds breath-
GAY!

I'm sorry, that was my inner-self-inflicting self.

I don't know.
Maybe its because I feel kinda down-er these few days. haha
That even measley bubblegum songs would make me feel happy.

ahah, anyway. There was uh~
Instructor-squad talking time? (TSTT?)
It was quite cool~
They (mostly staff Janson) told us about their squad

But truthfully to me, their squad is pretty cool lah.
yeah~
Then tingzie postponed to Friday, I would like to shout vulgarities at some random road person, but I just can't cause today's tie day.

and I suddenly feel like there's a lot lifted off me today.
cause i'm actually slacking now haha.

Kay, byebye
Vivien

Happy Birthday winky~

Rawr

2009-03-29T21:05:00.002+08:00

Sorry Eunice.
Too-tired-to-post

Because there's a whole lot of basically, things I don't want to do tomorrow. Tomorrow.
I'm trying to refrain from using the word 'crap'

Just came back from a fun buffet dinner.
Here's the thing, you know fun won't last because 'fun' is just a word
Which basically acts as a thick blanket to cover up the fact that after fun, there's still torture and pain to go through.

Makes me feel inferior.

Stop the bloody shouting.
I'm already losing my already dangling head.

-Ting Zie
-Math Assignment 3 corrections
-Math File
-Science Revision for Practicle
-Malay Revision
-History Revision
-FA revision
-intracomp trainings
-Science Reflections

These are all the work I have left. Because when I settle down to do something, I'm reminded I have something else more importatnt on my list. Then before I can settle down, I have something else added to my list.

You know; if lack of sleep is the sacrifice for all these.
What's the use of having school at 8? or 9?

You know what. Maybe I could just tolerate all the shouting and go to bed.
Oh wait no, there's ting zie.

Vivien.

rah.

2009-03-28T22:14:00.002+08:00

What's 'monetize'?
I just read Hera's blog and it said that.
Sgt Yeukho will be taking us solo for most comp trains.
-blank expression-

Anyway.
I have Tien Hsia homework (which I painly want to leave out, but its due tomorrow). Maths worksheet. History RAFT project. Chinese JuBen.

Revise for science practical and Malay test and Maths Assignment 3 and Ting Zie
Ting Zie by Monday
Science Practical by Tuesday
Maths Assignments and Malay Revsion due Wednesday.

And my mum's making me to expressionlessly do my work by today, because she so happily booked the whole of tomorrow full.
And on top of all that physical stress, I still have to deal with the emotional stress
and guess what!
It's 10:22 and I havent even done Tien Hsia (Crash and Burn )

-screams-

Sometimes I wonder if I should just stay at home in a tent and become a hermit for the rest of my lives.

crude silence and masked happiness

2009-03-27T20:23:00.003+08:00

I missed those days when I go home after training that I think to myself 'A shower will wash off all the pain and grossness'

I really do.
what's become of me now?

Vivien

Lyrics

2009-03-26T16:27:00.000+08:00

http://www.quizilla.com/lyrics/9115403/cause-i-know

Cause I feel like a depressed and pathetic sod.

Vivien

crams

2009-03-25T14:33:00.003+08:00

I hate being a girl.
I hate menstration.

Cause of you dear menstration, I couldn't go to school today.

And also, because of you. I realised how lucky I am to have such a lovely caring mom, loving caring friends (Wanxin said I love you to me yesterday) and an adorable brother.

And cause of the dear hormones, I am sorry to say that I blew my brother off today.
I'm sorry :(

Thanks to mummy who so painstakingly brought us to Whitesands to renew my ex-link card
and yihfang, jiayi and wanxin who replied my smses with Get well soons, and catfight in class now with Tigerress-roo, Panda-roo and wednesday-roo

And sorry mr.hong and photography.
Crams acted up violently.

Shit you lah crams.
Vivien

P.S, I edited my profile :) & Teared while reading Marley And Me &
Forgot to give eunice the keychain, hai.

Outside Looking In

2009-03-23T17:34:00.003+08:00

I like this song,
it really makes me think and then feel sorry for what mean things I've done sometimes

I'm sorry for complaining so much
And I'm sorry if I were rude to people in any way.
I'm sorry I'm such a bitch sometimes

Makes me wonder how painful it is to be criticised and to be bad-mouthed.
It is~

Maybe some of you would get it someday.
But with your heart of steel, nah.

And again, thanks to those who listened and even though you may feel like I'm such a brat, thanks for not saying it out.

God. I hate it when I reflect like that.
Vivien

Zone Comp Promises

2009-03-22T21:45:00.003+08:00

Zone Comp Champions :)
Champions okay Eunice?

means all four teams won first.
Means Dunman High School St.John is representing Zone 8 in Nationals.
Hoho Eunice!

Haiz.
I just went through all the pictures in my camera today.
It's a curse that a ugly-repblican like me has to ~~tie my hair~~ appear in public.
-tears-

Anyway, today was tiring as any other SJ day.
Even though I don't deserve to be tired just standing there and talking. And marvelling at the DHSJAB's comp teams marvellous performance.

(I'm not trying to lick anyone's butt)
Yeah~

Hera can get a Number 2!
At least, I hope we will.
I want us too :)
To show Hera Standard Fours that we've got what it takes.
I sound like some ego-maniac. (like you always do. Yes, it's you again)

I shall stop now.
Today was cool I guess.
but it being school tomorrow just deflates all the tremendous joy balloon I'm carrying.

Great job school,
you make me life whole again.

Oh yeah, today I saw celine, Jiahwan, Wanxin, JianChong, Peter, Yihfang in green and yellow shirts means they were Casualties! . so cool, but Wanxin's volcano-on-forehead thing really freaked me out.

Why am I even in SJ?
Sometimes I wonder.

kay, I shall go brood about school and it's impending shower of doom now.
Oh before that, my brother had a weird dream last night

: Last night I had a very goood dream. I dreamt that 4 days right. The first day
i was playing music (on the gu zheng) in front of everybody, and it was soo
good. So nice that everyone all CALLO! CALLO (Hurray in non-dream language) and
the second and third day everyone all CALLO CALLO me again! On the fourth day,
they held a 24hr celebration for Jordan! I sat in the parade square with my
guzheng and played again. I played for very long, but still very nice, everyone,
except the scorpions, spiders, cockroaches were listening to me. Even the
animals! Even the principal. Then I played very loud, and Kong Hwa School
started falling apart! Then DOM DOM DOM (crush crush) the school started falling
apart. then after that, 24 hours that time got fireworks! and the next day I
didn't need to go school, could just stay in bed and sleep!

...
Vivien

~

2009-03-21T11:27:00.001+08:00

Vivien

Supressed agony

2009-03-20T13:38:00.002+08:00

I might sound really annoying and a bugger for saying this.
And teachers would probably hate me after I say this but.

Screw you lah Homework.
I hate you.

What do you want us to do.
Stay in and finish all the work that we could never complete in school during our break?

Then what happens to family gatherings, movies and our CCA?
there are more things better than homeowrk,.
Far better.

I feel the pain for teachers who need to bring back buckloads of stuff from school and still have half a holiday less then us.

tell me, all this screwed up crap.
and if we don't want to do it, exchange it for leisure,
you reward us with lesser marks.
Lesser time with our family, lesser joy with the teacher's kids and other stuff.

This is just great.
Awesome.

I love you. -throws up all over the floor-

To whom this may concern.

HK trip

2009-03-19T10:53:00.006+08:00

Yup, with the yummy food, and the insane brother, and the eat eat eat, and the childish wonder of how everything was pulled out from a cartoon in Disneyland.

Yeah~~ the trip was coool.

And the non-stop shopping by my mum :)

Thanks for all the tags :)
6 pages of non-stop spamming, man.
That's wow.

There's zone-comp on Sunday.
With all the homework, I'm not surprised if I die and wither half-way.

Thanks panda, Eunice, thumbelina, Fluffy. Mental-case, Soosoosoo and Si Yao
for the contribution of the tags~

And if i missed anyone out, I deeply apologise.

Right now, I'm deeply enraged by someone.
You just had to ruin my day.
Yes, you.

Byebye
Vivien

Hiatus Annoucement

2009-03-14T22:39:00.004+08:00

Hiatus♥ : March 15 (Sunday) to March 17/18(Tuesday/Wednesday)

ya lah~
I admit, RT was okay, I tend to be over cynical about SJ sometimes
haha.
Told you I reflect.

But still. -groans and rolls over-

As for those ninnies who think I'm actually sleeping now,
I'm not.

Bodo.
I'm super scared about tomorrow, -gulps-
3 days without squadmates/friends, how?

Vivien